The Long Con
by HeidiBug731
Summary: The War ended years ago but Harry still has questions, questions only Snape can answer. However, Snape has no intention of telling the truth about Lily. Inspired by a Lost episode. Written post HBP.


Harry wasn't sure why he was here or what he thought it would accomplish. All he knew was that one question had been eating away at him, and after several years of ignoring it he couldn't stand it anymore.

Snape was the only one who could give him the answer. Harry knew it. But he also knew that getting the answer from him was going to be harder than trying to walk on water.

The Azkaban guard that Harry was following (the ministry no longer used dementors to guard the prison) suddenly stopped and unlocked the door to Snape's cell.

During the battle against Voldemort, Snape had renounced his employment to the Dark Lord but had also refused to fight for the other side. He'd simply slipped off to the sidelines, refusing to fight.

It had taken the combined efforts of Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville to restrain Harry when he had finally tracked Snape down. Looking back, he was glad they'd stopped him. He'd been ready to kill Snape.

However, Harry had managed to get out one word from the mass of arms that had held him back:

Coward.

Snape would've torn him limb from limb with his bare hands had it not been for the quick thinking of Harry's friends.

But it was the look in Snape's eyes that would come to haunt Harry years later. He'd witnessed a well of pain, pain deeper than any Harry had ever experienced. As the years passed, he began to wonder what kind of pain could be wrapped around that one word that had made Snape lash out at him with an almost animal instinct.

Snape sat on the bed in his cell, his head bowed. He made no sign that he'd noticed the cell door opening or that a visitor had walked inside.

The guard conjured a chair out of thin air. Harry took it and sat down, positioning himself so that he sat directly across from the man sitting on the bed.

"Severus Snape?" Harry tried.

He got no answer. It appeared to be as though Snape was lost deep in his own thoughts.

* * *

Harry decided to speak even though he wasn't sure Snape was listening. "I've been trying to figure you out." Harry told him. "You killed Dumbledore, but then you renounced Voldemort and refused to fight on either side. It doesn't add up.

"At first I though you were just playing your cards to keep yourself alive, but then I went back and thought of everything you've done since I've met you and everything I know you did before I met you. I started to realize that it wasn't about Voldemort or Dumbledore or the war."

Harry leaned forward. "You want to be hated. That's it, isn't it? That's why you do what you do. You actually want people to hate you."

Snape didn't answer. He stayed perfectly still. His head remained bowed, hiding his face from view.

Harry wanted to grab him and shake him, to make him say something. But somehow he knew Snape was listening.

"Why?" Harry asked. "I don't understand. Why do you want to be hated?"

* * *

_Severus felt his heart lift as Lily walked through the door._

_"I don't have much time," she admitted, waving the letter he had sent to her. "It was hard to get away. James didn't want me to come."_

_"He still doesn't trust me." It didn't really surprise Severus. James was too smart for his own good. "Even though Dumbledore does."_

_Lily shook her head sadly. "He thinks you're too deep into the Dark Arts to ever pull yourself out. Even though you're the one who told Dumbledore that Harry was marked for dead."_

_It had been a necessary step to get Dumbledore to trust him, a way of smoothing out any doubts Dumbledore might have had. The Dark Lord didn't know about it. Severus hoped he wouldn't find out. Even though he'd needed to do it in order for Dumbledore to believe him, he didn't think the Dark Lord would be happy about it._

_"I really wish the two of you could get along." Lily continued. "If only for five seconds."_

_"I didn't ask you to come here so we could talk about me and Potter-"_

_"James," she corrected. "But you're right. What did you want to talk about?"_

_Severus hesitated. "You do know that I came to Dumbledore on the Dark Lord's orders?"_

_"Well, yes," said Lily. "But that was the only way you could safely go to Dumbledore and spy on Voldemort."_

_"Don't say the name!" Snape hissed._

_"Sorry." Lily apologized. "I forgot you don't like it."_

_"Never mind that." Severus shook his head. "You're wrong, Lily. I came to Dumbledore on the Dark Lord's orders with every intention of following those orders."_

_Lily froze. How could she have been so stupid? Merlin, she was so naïve! James had been right. He'd been right about Snape all along._

_"I've been passing Voldemort information," Severus continued, avoiding eye contact with Lily. He was oblivious to what was going on inside her head. "Dumbledore only thinks the information I'm giving is important. I - Lily, wait!"_

_She ran for the door. He ran after her, grabbing her around the middle as she pulled the door open. He kicked the door closed with his foot as he pulled her away._

_"Let me go!" she shouted, flailing her arms and legs._

_"Lily - just-"_

_A fist connected with his temple and he relinquished his hold. She ran for the door again._

_"Lily!"_

_He grabbed her by the arm. She spun around, her wand grasped firmly in her free hand. He grabbed her wrist, keeping her wand pointed away from him._

_"Let me explain-"_

_She brought her leg up, kneeing him hard in the worst possible place._

_He went down._

_Once more she went for the door, but Severus grabbed her around the ankle. She tripped and fell._

_"Lily - I swear - if you'd just listen-"_

_Lily was fighting for her life and Severus was trying not to hurt her. They wrestled for several minutes until finally, miraculously, he had her pinned to the floor beneath him in a tangle of arms and legs._

_"Lily, think for a minute!" Severus panted once he was sure she couldn't hit him anymore. "Why would I be telling you this? If I wanted to hurt you, there wouldn't be any point. I'd have you right where I'd want you, believing that I was trustworthy._

_"But I'm telling you this," he continued. "Because I want you know that I'm done. I was on the Dark Lord's side before but I'm through now. Someone came to me and wanted me to join them in the plot to hurt your family, and I decided I didn't want anything to do with the Death Eaters anymore. You have to believe me."_

_Lily realized that he had a point. If he really were trying to kill her, there'd be no point in telling her this. "I believe you."_

_He rolled off her. Neither of them moved as they caught their breath._

_"Remind me never to piss you off." Severus groaned as he got to his feet._

_"Sorry," Lily said as he helped her up. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'll live."_

_"Someone came to you?" Lily asked._

_"That's the other thing I wanted to tell you about," said Severus. He hesitated for a moment, caught between two places. "Someone close to your family is betraying you."_

_Lily's eyes widened in disbelief. "What?"_

_"The man who came to me-and I know it was a bloke from his voice-he sounded like he knew you. I mean, he didn't talk like he knew facts about you but like he actually knew you and was close to your family even now."_

_Lily considered this for a moment. "You don't know his name or what he looks like?"_

_Severus shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I couldn't see his face. He kept his hood up and he wouldn't tell me his name."_

_"You're sure he's close to us?"_

_Severus nodded. "Positive."_

_She hugged him. Severus froze, his arms raised. He wasn't use to this kind of thing._

_"Thank you," said Lily as she pulled away. "I guess it was a good thing that you joined the Death Eaters. At least now we know what direction the blow is coming from."_

_"Will you tell Dumbledore for me? I have an assignment from the Dark Lord. It will look suspicious if I don't show."_

_Lily nodded. "Be careful." She looked at her watch and jumped. "I have to go. James will be worried sick."_

_She ran to the door for the last time._

_"I love you." Severus muttered under his breath._

_Lily paused, her hand on the doorknob. For a moment Severus was afraid she'd heard him._

_"See you," she said._

_"Goodbye, Lily."_

* * *

Lily told Dumbledore what Snape had told her about the man who had come to him. That night, when the Fidelius Charm was about to be performed, Dumbledore told James that he was worried someone close to his family might be trying to destroy it. James took Dumbledore seriously but said that he trusted Sirius with his life.

Sirius was made Secret Keeper, but Dumbledore's words plagued him. If someone close to James were after his family, then they would know that James would pick Sirius as Keeper. Though he would die before revealing their location, Sirius was afraid he'd be forced to tell. Worried that Remus might be the spy, he switched and made Peter the Potter's Secret Keeper.

Severus received the news of Lily's death, knowing that it was his fault. When her son came to Hogwarts and Quirrell jinxed the boy's broom, Severus tried to save him. He'd told himself he'd done it for Lily, but he knew it wasn't true. He'd done it for himself, to make himself feel better about betraying Lily. Trying to save her son had been an act of selfishness and was not to be mistaken for a good deed.

In the final battle, Severus had refused to fight. He wouldn't fight for the man who had killed Lily. Nor would he fight for the other side.

A tiger doesn't change its stripes.

Then Potter had found him and called him a coward. The word had ripped through Severus, causing pain more terrible than the Cruciatus Curse. How dare anyone call him a coward!

But a coward he was. Lily had been the only person who had ever given a damn about him - and how had he repaid her? He'd caused her death simply because he'd been afraid, afraid of doing the right thing, afraid of turning his back on the Dark Arts, afraid of changing his way of life . . . afraid of changing his stripes.

"Why?" Harry repeated.

For the first time since Harry had entered his cell, Snape lifted his head and looked Lily's son in the eyes. He would never know. He'd never know just how large a part he, Severus Snape, had played in the murder of his mother. Only two people knew about it. But Wormtail was dead . . . and Snape would never tell.

He sat in his cell in Azkaban, serving a life sentence for the murder of Albus Dumbledore, a man whom he'd killed because he wanted to be hated. Because he didn't deserve anything better. Because he was the reason Lily was dead.

"I'm not a good person, Potter." Severus said. "I haven't done one good thing in my life."

And that was all Harry would ever get out of him.

End

* * *

I was watchingan episode of Lost titled "The Long Con" and I was upset because I was starting to like one of the characters and then he'd gone and done something to make me hate him again. And I thought, "Hey, that's kind of like how I felt about Snape." So this short little fic is what came of it. If you've seen the Lost episode, then you'll notice that I borrowed some things from it. Also, I had to make Wormtail a stronger character for this to work.

Please comment!

_"A load of seemingly useful but utterly useless information like always."_

_"I still can't believe he actually trusts you. What did you tell him? That you were sorry?"_

_"Stop laughing, Wormtail, and tell me why you're here."_

_Pettigrew cleared his throat. "I want you to tell Dumbledore that someone close to the Potters is betraying them."_

_Severus stared. "What?"_

_"Listen," Wormtail leaned forward. "We both know the Fidelius Charm will be performed tonight. This is our last chance. Ever since Dumbledore discovered the Dark Lord was after the Potters' son-__"_

_Severus shifted in his seat._

_"He hasn't let the three of them out of his sight." Wormtail continued. "The Dark Lord can't touch them with Dumbledore so near, and once the Charm is complete it's over. James will make Sirius his Secret Keeper and the Dark Lord will never find them."_

_Wormtail grinned. Severus imagined a giant rat devouring a piece of cheese._

_"But that's where you come in." Wormtail pointed at Snape. "If you tell Dumbledore that you think someone close to them is betraying them, then he'll pass on the information because he trusts you. Sirius will be doubtful and he just might switch."_

_Wormtail pointed to himself. "I'll make sure the switch goes to me."_

_"What makes you so sure this will work?" asked Severus._

_"Because I've been friends with these people since I was a First Year at Hogwarts. I know them."_

_Severus crossed his arms. "It looks to me like I'm the one dodging killing curses while you lie low in the shadows."_

_Wormtail set his jaw. "That's how I work."_

_"I've been bringing the Dark Lord valuable information on Dumbledore." Severus snarled. "Do you know how upset he'd be if this were to blow up in my face?"_

_"But if you succeed," Wormtail baited. "You and I will be greatly rewarded."_

_Severus shook his head. "I plant a seed of doubt and you hand the Dark Lord what he's wanted more than anything since he first heard the prophecy. No thanks. I'm not risking my arse just so you can bask in the limelight."_

_He got up to leave._

_"Oh, you have to be joking." Wormtail started to laugh._

_Severus turned to face him. "I don't see what's so funny."_

_Wormtail slapped the table. "You've fallen for her, haven't you?"_

_Severus twitched. "You're crazy."_

_"You know she'd hate you if she ever found out the truth." Wormtail insisted._

_Severus felt something inside him snap. Lily was all he had. She was the only one who had always been there for him . . . and he was having a conversation about turning her and her family over to a mad man who would probably kill her._

_"You're wrong." Severus said. "I'll tell her tonight. I'll tell her everything. Even the truth about you."_

_Wormtail shook his head. "No, you won't. You know how I know? Because that's who you are. You've always been up to your eyeballs in the Dark Arts even before you ever arrived at Hogwarts. It's part of you, part of your makeup, part of your design. You tell her the truth, and it's all over. You know that, and that's why you won't do it. A tiger doesn't change its stripes."_

* * *

_"So, what are you going to tell Dumbledore today?"_

The Long Con


End file.
